The one "The Man" doesn't want you to see:



So now you know.

After watching this video:



I finally understand Cynthia Davis. Despite owning a Christian bookstore and such, she's afraid of acting too Christian. I mean, just because she sells the Bible doesn't mean she's got to do what it says, right?

Feed the hungry? Judge not? Show mercy? That's the kind of stuff that loses an election for someone like her. It's all so clear now.

Dilf and I were watching a TV show last night for the hour or so between when the girlies go to bed and The Daily Show starts. The hero did some heroic things, but part of his "roguish charm" was that he bedded a different nameless barbie-doll looking woman just about every night.

Other people might get into a moral discussion about that, but I'd like to say I don't see what's so "heroic" there -- from a sexual standpoint.

That guy doesn't have to think up or try anything new. A guy in a long-term, committed relationship has to keep it fresh. What does this jerk have to do? Nothing. He doesn't have to learn anything. He doesn't have to be creative or thoughtful. Why is that heroic? Where's the effort? The skill? The inventiveness?

And he just leaves in the morning? He doesn't have to help her figure out the bills, or mow the lawn, or even unload the dishwasher. He is lazy.

And he doesn't have to put his heart on the line, or invest himself in any way. Where's the bravery?

The guy who makes a commitment and sticks to it is the heroic one, not this clod. I want to know why time and time again this type is considered heroic?

This morning, I turned to CNN.com to see what celebrity died today, and instead I read this. You would think after my above diatribe that I'd be waving pompons and yelling, "Go team marriage!"

I understand her sentiments, I do. But whenever people want to control what other people can and cannot do, I think they're barking up the wrong tree. Here's what I propose: instead of opposing something like easy divorce, how about supporting families? Instead of making it harder to divorce, why not make it easier to stay together?

I have some ideas about how to do that, but this post is too long as it is.

Try not to miss me too much.

It hasn't been just the girlies and me at the pool; a lot of thoughty-thoughts have been swimming around -- in my noggin. Like my revolutionary new Affirmative Action plan, where once every few random years, we switch the incoming Yale freshman class with an equal number of day laborers from around the country. (Hey, Einstein said "You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother." So if those professors really understand what they're talking about, they should have no problem explaining it to relative beginners, right? Although why Einstein singled out "grandmothers" is beyond me; most grandmas I know are pretty smart. I mean, how did they survive that long otherwise? But I am getting severely off-topic here.)


This story is deeply disturbing to me.

It bothers me as an American, that our country has become so accepting of guns or so afraid of the gun lobby that ... well, I'll let the NRA guy explain: “We have a very active agenda in all 50 states,” said Chris W. Cox, legislative director of the N.R.A., widely considered the country’s most powerful lobby. “We have right-to-carry laws in over 40 states; 20 years ago, it was in just six.”

I don't like people who instill fear in people, and then capitalize on it. Frankly, I believe they are doing evil. The gun lobby is a group of people who stoke and live off fear, the type of fear that leads people to believe they need a gun in a national park not to defend themselves against bears or mountain lions or wolves, but against assaults from other human beings.

So, you go on vacation to view the breathtaking, awe-inspiring nature, but in the back of your mind, you're thinking someone is going to attack at any moment? Is that any way to live? Do any facts or statistics bear out your paranoia?

And that's another thing that bothers me about this whole thing: facts. Logic. And the lack thereof. An entire swath of people in this country seems to feel that not only do facts and logic not apply when considering one's day to day actions and beliefs, but those who DO try to consider such things are enemies bent on attacking their way of life!

On this note, the last paragraph, using the pastor's very own words, chills me to the bone.

“When someone from within the church tells me that being a Christian and having firearms are contradictions, that they’re incompatible with the Gospel — baloney,” he said. “As soon as you start saying that it’s not something that Christians do, well, guns are just the foil. The issue now is the Gospel. So in a sense, it does become a crusade. Now the Gospel is at stake.”

When did "baloney" become a valid debate point? When the soldiers were coming for Jesus, and Peter took a sword and cut off one guard's ear in self-defense, did Jesus say, "You, go, Peter! Good job!" Or, did he heal the guard's ear and tell Peter he was on the wrong track? Isn't that a Gospel-based point AGAINST the use of weapons? But he doesn't even TRY to use some weirdo-logic to explain that away. He just says "Baloney" and leaves it at that.

And I've been trying to figure out what his last sentence means for two days now. Can someone explain how defending guns becomes defending the Gospel?

I've already kinda touched on why this bothers me from a religious standpoint. Clearly, the Gospel of Fox News has replaced the true Gospel for too many people. This is not news to me. Frankly, it's pretty much European history itself at this point -- a morphing of Jesus's words and philosophy into whatever you want them to be, to justify your viewpoint. I'm not shocked by it, but I am bothered by it.

But I'm not going to start shooting anyone over it.

Let me take a moment for a slight musical interlude, where I change the words to popular songs, past and present, to match whatever happens to be going on in my pitiful little life currently.

For instance, take my dear Dilf's present difficulties, with an eye infection described by the opthamologist as a virus related to, but not, conjunctavitis. I enjoy singing "You Can't Hide Your Viral Eyes" and "Viral Eyes! They're Watching You!" to his delight.

Actually, he's not delighted at all. But I pretend he is. While I avoid touching his towel, pillowcase or anything else he might have contaminated.

Also, while making pancakes this morning, Dilf commented that the new brand of mix made the perfect amount of pancakes for us, unlike the kind we usually use which either makes too much or too little. I then began singing "Too Much Too Little Too Late" but Dilf had no idea what song I was singing.

But he didn't say anything. Which leads me to believe he often sits there, silently, thinking I am insane on a fairly regular basis. But it was, too a real song:



See? I am NOT crazy. So there.

I am terrified of food because everything is deadly. Even formerly "healthy" stuff. It's not healthy! Oh, it's riddled with poisonous pesticides and rife with bacteria and/or viruses!

I wish I was as carefree as B.A. Look at him, peacefully eating his salad:



Tonight I will be serving salmon to my family, but from the moment I purchased it, to the time I took it out of the freezer to thaw, to right now, to when I will cook it, to when my family will be eating it, I was/will be thinking about the fact it is "farm-raised" salmon.

I am putting my family in jeopardy, aren't I? We're all going to die now.

The thing is, they had "wild-caught" salmon at the store, but it was $16.99 a pound.

Seventeen. Fucking. Dollars. A. Pound.

I also bought asparagus, and for the life of me, I can't remember if it's organic or not. But I can't bear to consider that right now. And don't even get me started on the baby potatoes.

But even the non-organic, non-optimally raised, yet still fresh food is damned expensive. And many economically-disadvantaged neighborhoods in cities don't even have actual grocery stores to sell the expensive food; they only have those small corner bodega-type stores that don't even have a freezer section.

In rural areas? Uh, what grocery store? What town? What job?

And that's why this woman is an idiot who should be forced to live like a real, actual poor person for awhile. Everything is so easy when... you have it so easy. Just ask Marie Antoinette.

Yes, I am blatantly stealing from Dr. Zaius, who already said this about her. Well, stealing is such a harsh word. It's really more of an homage.