I'm re-writing what I wrote.

Just so no one thinks Egan is nuts, I was writing about the state of the world.

I just want to moon everyone and I think this scarecrow's the perfect way to do it.

I just suffer every month (yeah, THAT'S why) and Dilf always seems to go out of town at the same time and I'm just tired and achey and miserable and I can't take it any more.

So I put makeup on the ÜberGirls to entertain myself. Elder is a witch with a spider on her cheek and Younger is a vampire with blood dripping down her chin.

Dirty dishes are stacked up at the side of the sink while I haven't unloaded the clean ones from the dishwasher. I haven't folded the laundry, of course. And I need to make Younger's bed because she had an accident during the night and I stripped it.

I'm having a garage sale tomorrow whether I like it or not because I put the ad in the paper. I haven't priced anything but that's just tough shit for those weirdos who frequent garage sales. I swear I saw a couple drive by checking out my house number just to make sure they knew which one it was tomorrow.

I don't wanna and I'm not gonna. That's my attitude today.