Truthfully, not much of interest was to be found in this week's slew of coupons. With spring cleaning around the corner, many of them were of the foaming, germ-cleaning, dirt-removing variety.

Also, there was one for a Precious Moments™ bowling figurine.



Since we all know that Precious Moments™ figurines are evil talismans, it shouldn't be surprising that the food items featured were all ... off in some way.


For example, a new mini version of these were introduced this week. Last year, Nick was horrified when they released the full-sized version. He claimed they were an abomination unto the Lord, a perversion of nature that would rain God's ire down upon us. Since that never happened, they expanded the line. Save 50 cents if you dare to mock mother nature, and Nick.



If Nick was offended by squagels, I hope he averts his eyes for the next offering. Or, he could sit in the middle of Wichita in sackcloth and ashes trying to repent for all of mankind. Get ready, Nick: Stouffer's has perverted the pizza.


It is rectangular. They call the crust "flatbread." They put non-pizza toppings on it, like steak fajita and shrimp. Not since the breakfast burrito has such twisted combinations been presented for sale at the local supermarket. You can save one dollar using the coupon.



Finally, we have something from José Olé: Skillet Meals for Two. They are so new, their own website has no information on them. They offer a non-pizza version of steak fajitas, but they decided to hop on the Italian-Mexican bastardization train themselves with two pasta varieties. Hamburger Helper has been doing this for years, but we expect things like that from them -- not from someone named José. He's a real person, right? José Olé? I Googled him and they gave me his picture, so he must be real. José is offering you a dollar to try his new skillet meals.