Don't Wear Wednesday: Don't Get Your Panties in a Twist
Although I'm a big fan of ice cream novelties, I am not a fan of novelty underwear. Well, I guess that depends on your definition of "novelty;" I like frilly, retro-inspired stuff, or boxers with fun prints on them, like dancing robots or whatever. It's the stuff that looks like you bought it at Spencer's Gifts that I'm talking about.

For instance, why would a man put on a g-string that makes his penis turn into a flamingo? Is he going to play the "Miami Vice" theme song in the bedroom and start calling his manly bits "Crockett and Tubbs?" No, sir. There is a line between fun and ridiculous, and flamingo undies crosses that line.

Not to pick on the aviary selections available, but this one takes the (birthday) cake. It's a stork, and it's musical. It plays "Rock a Bye Baby." And the vomit-inducing ad copy encourages you to spring it on your "baby daddy" (gag...I feel it rising in my throat...) or "grandpa" (sorry... it's coming out now...!)


There. All better. Where was I?

Finally, I do not recommend making your genitalia resemble googly-eyed cartoon characters. Is laughter the response you want to your manhood? Maybe it is. If you're looking for hooting laughter or disgusted rolled eyes when you take off your pants, by all means, buy and wear this underwear. If you'd rather avoid that reaction, take a pass.

The mustache is a nice touch, though.
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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