Home Depot: Angel of Death
I believe Nick is on to something. Home Depot is clearly evil. How do I know? They are deliberately attempting to lead scores of innocent men to their deaths through this ad:

That is blatant false advertising, and I strenuously urge my readers to disregard it for their own safety.

Unless this gift card is $12,000 or so toward a complete kitchen remodeling, giving it to mom will send the following messages:

• I was shopping for myself, then suddenly remembered something about "Mother's Day" while I was waiting in line. I saw this display next to the register with gift cards, so, here you go.

• I don't like shopping for "girl stuff." Here you go.

• I have no idea what you truly need or what interests you. Here you go.

• You're not going to use it? Okay, I'll take it, then. Love ya, mom. Oh, and thanks for lunch, but I've got to leave now. I need to go buy a new power drill.

These messages might make mom a tad angry, especially after the 8 hours of pushing, years of laundry and that one incident in your teens that we don't want to mention. Death and/or dismemberment are likely outcomes.

So, again, I must warn you against buying the Home Depot gift card for your mom on Sunday. The life you save may be your own.
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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