It May Be April Fool's Day, But This Is No Joke: Stop The Vagina Bidding War
What once was an occasional problem has now become a full-blown epidemic: women underselling their vaginas and driving down the value.

See, we women should be sticking together like OPEC, but instead we're engaging in such cutthroat competition and virtually begging to give our vaginas away, and I want it to stop. Let me demonstrate what I mean.

Throngs of women are throwing their vaginas at penises on television shows, and they don't seem to care if that penis belongs to someone suave and British or old and scabby.
In contrast, the one show where men threw their penises into the ring to catch a vagina, The Bachelorette, is no longer airing.

Add this phenomena to single women competing with wives for their husbands, and it seems to add up to a penis being somehow more valuable than a vagina. I beg to differ.

Now, while I love, admire, and enjoy the company of men (that would be the host organism onto which your beloved penises are attached, gals, in case you never look above the waistlines of your conquests), but vaginas have uses above and beyond sex. Like acting as one of those emergency slides for babies when they're ready to join the world.

I don't mean to demean the penis, but what about these penises you fight for is so special? Do these men have Swiss Army penises, so they can open a bottle of wine on those romantic evenings together? Do they have hidden projectors inside which show movies on the wall when you turn out the lights? Why are you so adamant about "winning" these prizes, when so many available, serviceable penises are lying around unused?

I would guess this isn't about the penises at all, but about winning a competition. If that is the case, may I suggest you take up tennis, bridge or ping pong so as to avoid devaluing womankind's assets, and humiliating yourself in the process?
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

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