My Latest Crush. Clearly, I Have a Problem.
I have no control over upon whom I develop a crush. It's like a hormonal soup arises in my brain, and whatever male I happen to be looking at becomes the object of my fawning desire.

At least, I'd like to tell myself that, to explain away the fact I become infatuated with men that most other women do not find irresistible, yet only coolly admire the male beauty of other celebrities those other women drool over. But there is a method to my madness, and it stems either from Dilf or Thomas Dolby.

Yes, once again my crush du jour resembles Dilf.

I wasn't particularly attracted to him in Shaun of the Dead, but for some reason, Hot Fuzz got me hot and bothered. Please stop laughing at me. That means you, Brooke and Double Post.

Here he is breakdancing on Jimmy Kimmel in 2004 (at age 34, which makes him... exactly my age):

Isn't he cute? Well, I think he is. Shut up.

Also, he's going to play Scotty in the upcoming Star Trek movie. I think a date night is in my future!

Dilf's business trip is ending none too soon, I think. Maybe we can watch a little Hot Fuzz together... I have it DVR'd. Rrrrrowrrr.

Another odd thing about my crushes: I have no real commitment to them. Above and beyond having zero interest in cheating on Dilf, when I read (as I did today) that my crush is married, I don't think to myself, "I must find Mrs. Pegg and kill her so I can add Simon to my collection of geeky lovers! Bwah Ha Ha Ha!"

Instead, I think, "Awww, how sweet. I hope they're really happy together."

I'm just not normal. Or too normal. I can't decide which.
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

Now, who wants cupcakes?

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