Ubergirl Elder: Sorry, but...
Ubergirl Elder's birthday is Sunday. High on her gift wish list is Groom and Glam Brietta -- pictured here. It's the head of a winged horse, from the upcoming movie "Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus" or some such nonsense.

My mother, my niece and I went to Toys R Us to shop for birthday gifts. We stopped by the display for this horse head thing. None of us wanted to buy it, despite the delight it would bring Ubergirl Elder.

"Lip gloss on a HORSE?" said my mother. "I just can't see that."

"It's scary looking," said my niece.

"It reminds me of "The Godfather," I said. "Maybe I'll buy it, and leave it tucked into her bed on her birthday morning, so when she wakes up..."

"Don't forget the ketchup," says my mother.

The adolescent stockboy thought we were a stitch. But then, he was probably looking at my 20-year-old niece's ass at the time, and just trying to get in good with us.
Name: Übermilf
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