The most embarrassing thing EVER happened to me by Mr. Mayfield’s class, y’guys – right in front of Todd Guenther. I might as well change religions and transfer to St. Margaret Mary, like, TODAY.

Okay, the bell rang and I was coming out of physical science. I was trying to rearrange my books and stuff for French when I saw Todd talking to Brett Simmons on his way out of Chemistry. God, he is so totally HOT! Anyway, when I saw him I got all, like, flustered and stuff and I dropped my purse, and it spilled all over the hallway!

Shut up! It is soooo not funny! I have my period and stuff, so like those big dorky sanitary napkins came bouncing out, but like, they’re wrapped in that orange plastic stuff so I don’t think anybody noticed.

But guess what, y’guys? Okay, this is the WORST! I had tampons in there, too, because I like have swimming with Mr. Jaystrab, and you know what a TOTAL DICK he can be when you tell him you can’t go swimming because you have your period…I know! I get cramps really bad when I use tampons, too! But he’s such an asshole!

So anyway, I had tampons in there, too, and they went ROLLING DOWN the hallway. Right… toward… Mayfield’s class. Shut up! Guess where they stopped. Yes. Right at Todd and Brett’s feet. I could DIE.

And they totally looked down, and then looked up at me, and they were like, “Uh, are these yours?” Oh…My…GOD! And then they like picked them up and handed to me. My face was soooo red I thought it was gonna, like, burst into flames or something.

Cut it out! At least he TALKED to ME. Stop! I didn’t laugh at you when you did your speech on James Knox Polk with salami in your braces! God, you are such a BITCH.