I Am Making an Announcement Purely as a Self-Help Tool
Blah blah blah new year blah blah blah fresh start blah blah self improvement blah blah.

I want to fit into this dress again:

I wore this dress to Mrs. Kathy's birthday party in 1997; I met Dilf at that party. I was 26 years old and very healthy.

In the course of my lifetime, I've been frighteningly anorexic and post-partum bloated and everything in between. I can't use the scale as a measurement, because I have large solid bones and good muscle mass, neither of which I want to lose. So, I can be a size 6 or 8 and still weigh 150 or more lbs. I'm fine with that; who cares? It's health first and looks second, and the scale doesn't tell that.

But I am a little soft and jiggly. I do want to be the lean, mean muscle machine that tracked down Dilf and brought him in for the kill.

I don't want to obsess over every calorie or chemically analyze the content of every bite I'm eating or skip every dessert. I also don't like artificial sweeteners; they give me a headache.

So, here are my vows: Eat more fruits and vegetables. Drink more water. No trans fats. Less (sob!) butter. Switch to tea from coffee, since it takes way less sugar to make it palatable to me. I'm pretty good about everything else, foodwise.

Also, exercise! Use that Y membership more than once a week! And... wear that red velvet dress with the zipper down the front to my 7 Year Itch Anniversary Party!

I know I have your love and support in this endeavor. I hope? Yeah, I know, you don't care. But public declarations strengthen my resolve.
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

So you want more huh?
Click here!

Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

Now, who wants cupcakes?

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