Personal Ads? Why Not Personal Commercials?
Todd posted his personal ad a couple days ago. I like Todd; I want him to happy. Thus, I have taken it upon myself to create an infomercial for him, designed to create an unprecedented demand for his love among the ever-popular 18-34 consumer target market. Here's my commercial, designed to air during Cheaters, Elimidate, Blind Date and other late-night programs:

[Opening: "My Old Kentucky Home"; a shot of Churchill Downs]

Announcer: "Kentucky is famous for producing thoroughbreds. Introducing one of Kentucky's most prestigious creations: Todd."

[Upbeat incidental music plays]

"I know what you're thinking: I've tried Todds before and been disappointed. What makes this Todd so special? We're glad you asked!

Most Todds available on the market today come in a 5'9" package. Our Todd measures a whopping 6'6"! That's 12 percent more Todd for you to enjoy!

Also, unlike some Todds, our Todd is not stringy or scawny. [waah-waah sound effect] You call that a Todd? That's a Rod!

Our Todd is solidly built from American materials, and won't bend, scratch, dent or shatter under pressure. Our Todd is the best Todd available in the U.S.!
But a Todd offer like this won't last forever. Call today for your chance to date Todd, before it's too late!

*Todd isn't for everyone. If you are a male, Todd is not right for you. If you are a female under the age of 18 or past menopause, Todd is unavailable. Side effects of Todd include laughing uncontrollably, eating late-night cheeseburgers and listening to Pixies and other alternative bands from the 80's and 90's. Ask your doctor or pharmacist if Todd is right for you. Please enjoy Todd responsibly.

Todd: Alive with Pleasure for Today's Woman"
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

So you want more huh?
Click here!

Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

Now, who wants cupcakes?

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