If I'm going to put my fresh karma plan into action, I'm going to have to give up some of my most prized possessions. For example, my revenge fantasies.
When someone acts like a dick, asshole, bitch, twat or big meanie, I enjoy turning them into monsters in my head. Irredeemable, sociopathic mongrels who need to taste the sword of Ubie justice.
The problem is, when I construct these elaborate and delicious fantasies, I am focusing like a laser on bad things. When I focus on bad things, I'm not focusing on good things. Like baking cupcakes with the Harpy Queen. Or staging a dance party with the Übergirls. Or Dilf rubbing my feet.
So, I must bid a sad farewell to the dreams of dismembering bad guys and scattering their body parts among several dumpsters. I must abandon the nipple clamps, labia-stitchers and scrotum-sanders. No more cheese graters used on human flesh, or searing acids poured with excrutiating slowness down the backs of evil-doers.
No, I must turn over a new leaf. A happy leaf. At least for this week.
I'm going to make some chocolate chip cookies with the girls after we get back from visiting grandma and grandpa. And then, it's Taco Night! Who wants to come over and shake some maracas with me?
