Food's high holiday, Thanksgiving, is fast approaching.  Understandably, I had four (FOUR?  SCORE!) coupon sections in Sunday's paper.  After all, people not only must create culinary masterpieces, but also must clean their houses for nosy, judgmental in-laws who come to visit on that day.

Pillsbury understands the stress people come under when hosting Thanksgiving, so they sympathetically offer a 35-cents-off coupon for Hungry Jack potatoes to make life easier on the big day.

There's only one problem with that:  if I were, in fact, to prepare and serve dehydrated potatoes from a box on Thanksgiving Day, my life would be dramatically less simple.  Dough Boy, I love you, but you're off base on this one.

You see, Dilf is a loving husband.  A patient husband.  An understanding husband.  He loves me like crazy.  But fake potatoes on Thanksgiving would cause my marriage to ... well, not END, necessarily.  But it would be altered forever, and not in a good way.

I would see the betrayal in his eyes.  He might not verbalize it, but it would be there, eating away at the strength of our marital bond.   And if I were to compound that transgression by topping said potatoes with gravy from a packet, as McCormick Seasonings suggests?  Well, let's just say I might as well get the sheets ready for a second bedroom.  I'm sorry, McCormick, but that 25-cents-off coupon just isn't worth it.

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