It shocked me to learn that ÜberYounger had somehow turned 26 years old, married, had a couple of children, and became a widow virtually overnight, yet that's what happened. According to ÜberYounger.

Last week, just before dinner, Younger pulled up alongside me as I sat on the couch. She had one baby in a stroller and one strapped in a backpack. Truthfully, one of the "babies" appeared to be a stuffed dog, but I'm not one to judge.

I was informed that Younger was now 26 years old and the proud mother of two children, Olivia and Karen. I asked how Younger managed to raise two children all by herself, considering she had no job.

"I own an ice cream parlor," she announced.

And the father of the children? "He's dead," she stated matter-of-factly. He's the one who left her the ice cream parlor, by the way. His name? "Larry."

Really? How old was he? "27," she answered. Wow, that's really young to die. "He smoked too much," she responded.

That's incredible. It usually takes years and years for smoking to catch up with you like that. "Well, I accidentally put a stick of dynamite in his cigars, and he exploded."

Ah ha. Well, it was time for dinner. During dinner, after a typical discussion of how each person's day had gone, Younger picked up on the story of Larry's demise.

"Not all of him died, you know," she said between mouthfuls of spaghetti. "They found a foot." Which one? "His left foot." Ah, like Daniel Day Lewis.

In the coming days, the story of Larry continued. She kept his foot in a pickle jar, so that her daughters would remember their dad. Sadly, this caused a cessation of her mail delivery, as the mailman saw the foot in the jar through the window, and fled in terror. Can't say that I blame him.

Now, for more terror, let's continue our journey through the holidays of February, with our delightful guide: