Tits showed me this yesterday.

Obviously, she felt I needed more reasons to put my fist through my monitor.

Now, I will admit to playing "spa" with the ÜberGirls at bathtime. In fact, I would pretend they were princesses coming in for treatment, and I would "gossip" about Rapunzel, Snow White, Cinderella, etc. ("That Prince Charming is sooo dreamy. Snow White is a lucky gal. Of course, she did have to deal with that nasty stepmother of hers...")

They'd take a bath by candlelight while listening to new age music. When they came out of the bath, I'd rub them with some fruit-scented lotion, put on their pajamas, and put them to bed.

My motives were selfish in this scenario: all of these things made them drowsy. They fell more quickly and deeply into dreamland, which meant I could have a cup of tea and watch "Lost" without interruption. It wasn't meant to introduce them to a lifetime of anxiety-induced trips to the salon, where only "certain standards" of grooming will ensure you a "certain standard" of husband who will provide you with a "certain standard" of living. Ah, the sweet smell of progress... smells like... hot wax.

Add to that the abusive, body-loathing, nature-denying aspects of this whole story, and it's enough to make me despondent.

Except, when Elder was asked to circle the one thing that she really, really wanted from her Scholastic Book Club Flyer, she picked this.

And Younger wants to be a Ninja Ballerina. Hy-AAAH! Maybe they'll be a crime fighting team some day...