I am eagerly anticipating the release of the next Harry Potter book. My excitement is twofold: one, I enjoy fiction that spurs me to imagine that I have hidden mystical powers that I just haven’t discovered yet; two, my little downtown is going to be transformed into Diagon Alley to celebrate the book release on July 15 at midnight!

To get details, I visited my shopping district’s website at http://www.downtowndownersgrove.com/. It failed to mention it. The bookstore in my downtown is a locally-owned independent Bookstore called Anderson’s; I checked their website and Voila! I found it! Or so I thought.

Certainly, it contained a link to the Harry Potter release party. But it focused on its location in … Naperville. Naperville!

Naperville, the evil titan of Chicago’s western suburbs! Naperville, with its Riverwalk, national chain stores, and Carillon! Curse you and your broad tax base, Naperville!

Downtown Downers Grove is also transforming into Diagon Alley and having a party. But it only rated one sentence in the announcement. I don’t care what Naperville is doing! I’m going to be loyal to my little downtown and Naperville can stuff it up its overrated, overcrowded, overindulged fat ass! Damn Naperville.