Kenny Loggins (what adult calls himself "Kenny" anyways? Oh, that's right: Kenny G. It must be an annoying musician with scraggly-ass long hair kinda thing) has been publicly flogged for bad music before, but in my opinion, one of his worst transgressions is the wretched Celebrate Me Home.It seems that "Holiday Music" radio stations believe we tire of the traditional Christmas Carols, so they insert some of these "newer" tunes into the mix.
Please, don't. I beg of you. How about some classical pieces instead? Vivaldi's "Winter" from the "Four Seasons?" Some Beethoven? Jazz? ANYTHING but these dull, sappy, insipid pieces of garbage moaned into a microphone by a has-been desperately trying to sell an album. Between S.A.D. and family angst, aren't we suffering enough at this time? Without further ado, I give you:
by Kenny Loggins
Home for the holidays,
I believe I’ve missed each and every face,
Come on and play my music,
Let’s turn on the love light in the place
It’s time I found myself,
Totally surrounded in your circles
Whoa, my friends
Please, celebrate me home,
Give me a number,
Please, celebrate me home
Play me one more song,
That I’ll always remember,
And I can recall,
Whenever I find myself too all alone,
I can sing me home.
Uneasy highway,
Traveling where the westerly winds can fly,
Somebody tried to tell me,
But the men forgot to tell me why,
I gotta count on being gone,
Come on woman, come on daddy,
Be what you want from me,
I’m this strong, I’ll be weak
Please, celebrate me home,
Give me a number,
Please, celebrate me home
Play me one more song,
That I’ll always remember,
I can recall,
Whenever I find myself too all alone,
I can make believe I’ve never gone,
I never know where I belong,
Sing me home.
Please, celebrate me home,
Give me a number,
Please, celebrate me home
Play me one more song,
Celebrate, celebrate
Celebrate, celebrate
Celebrate, celebrate
Celebrate me home
Please, celebrate me home,
Please, celebrate me home,
Well I’m finally here,
But I’m bound to roam,
Come on celebrate me home
Well I’m finally here,
But I’m bound to roam,
Come on celebrate me home
Well I’m finally here,
But I’m bound to roam,
Come on celebrate me home
Please, celebrate me home,
Please, celebrate me home,
Please, celebrate me home,
Please, celebrate me home,
Please, celebrate me home,
Please, celebrate me home,
(fade)
