I'm Becoming An Übermilfy-Rooney
milfirooneyI went to Target to fill my prescriptions and buy a couple of things last night. Considering the nature of my prescriptions, one would think they'd have a giant red caveat attached to my filed that said: Caution: CRAZY LADY. If you value your life, give her what she wants! Instead, I get nothing but trouble. On the positive side, it gives me plenty of time to shop while they get their heads out of their asses.

On the negative side, it gives me plenty of time to get irritated over meaningless things. Like women's lingerie.

I hate spaghetti straps. Not to wear for recreational purposes, but to sleep in. They fall off my shoulders in the middle of the night and get all tangly. Sometimes, because I have rather petite, rounded shoulders, my entire top falls down sometime during the night. This is not sexy; this is uncomfortable, and cranky-inducing. Happily, I found a nightgown at Target that eliminated that problem:

But it only came in red and pink. They didn't have pink in my size, so I bought the red. You would think finding what I wanted would make me happy, but my happiness was interrupted when I noticed EVERY OTHER NIGHTGOWN in a variety of shapes, sizes, colors, patterns, material -- with the cursed spaghetti straps. Or shapeless, un-sexy t-shirt styles. Who decided that every satin gown must have spaghetti straps? Unfair, I tell you!

I also have a complaint about robes. There is only one style of robe, for the most part: the kind that has little ties on the inside and a bigger belt on the outside. I don't like these. Übergirlies steal the belts, or they fall off. The terry cloth ones are thick and bunchy, the satin ones don't stay tied. Using the toilet while wearing this garment is unnecessarily complicated. The only alternative is the kind Marie on Everybody Loves Raymond wore. Why can't they make an attractive, non-belted dressing-gown thingy? Again, I was born in the wrong decade:
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

Now, who wants cupcakes?

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