If I'm going to reach 750 or 1,000...

I'm going to have to talk about every mundane detail in my miserably inconsequential existence. Take my laundry. Please! (yuck yuck yuck)

Anyway. It's perfectly understandable that I could lose one of the 534,938 thousand pairs of little pink socks that come into my household, get worn once, and then mysteriously disappear. Well, one of each pair disappears. I then descend deeper and deeper into madness as I try to match each almost identical sock to a mate, only to be met with defeat at every turn. But I can understand missing socks; especially since the cat steals them.

But sheets? Bedsheets? How in God's good name can bedsheets disappear?

We have (had?) several sets of twin-sized sheets for the girls' beds. Four of them are Disney Princess-related. We also have one Hello Kitty, one non-branded fairy princess themed, and one aqua with blue and yellow flowers.

I am down to one fitted Cinderella sheet, some flat sheets and assorted pillowcases.

They aren't in the dirty laundry. They aren't in the linen closet. They aren't in the chest where I store spare items like holiday-themed tablecloths. They aren't in the girls' dresser drawers, their closet or their desk drawers.

They aren't in the side table drawer in my bedroom where I store the Übersheets.

I am at a loss. If a ghost came rummaging through the linen closet, one would think he'd steal the flat sheets. Also, he'd be a pretty harmless-looking ghost covered in pink dotted with smiling princesses.

I don't hang them out on a line to dry, so it's doubtful they flew away. Did they disintegrate? Spontaneously combust? What the hell could've happened?
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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Now, who wants cupcakes?

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