When Dilf left at 4:30 this morning for the Twin Cities, he kissed me and told me to go back to sleep.

I tried, I really did.

But almost immediately, I began to hear what I thought was a low moan of pain. Oh, no, I thought. Another ÜberGirl is going to blow girlie chunks in the bathroom. At least, the bathroom, if I'm lucky.

Thankfully, the noise was not coming from an ÜberGirl. It was coming from outside, from Miss Muffin. And it wasn't a low moan of pain, it was the beginnings of a kitty growl, culminating in a ferocious "Rowrr-rowrr!" which I identified as a "I fart in your general direction! Leave before I taunt you a second time!"

I put on my slippers and ran to the deck, which caused two identical black flying furry objects to dart out of the gate and run across my neighbor's lawn. I couldn't tell which of the two was wearing a pink rhinestone collar with heart-shaped tags, so I don't know who was in the lead. But I did hear the tell-tale jangle of her bell, so I know she was involved somehow.

I hope she comes home in one piece. I suspect she will. Despite my best efforts at making her a lazy pampered housecat, she insists on being more the roller-derby brawler type.

She is a Maine Coon Cat, after all.