Bad Music Thursday: Fake Grunge

In 1993, in the wake of the success of talented bands like Nirvana and Pearl Jam, the music industry decided they needed clones. Lots of clones. So, Stone Temple Pilots, a glitter-metal band who performed in San Diego under a different name, suddenly became "grunge" and was quickly signed to a recording contract. Of course, like all things cheap and derivative, they were a huge success.

Check out the HORRIBLE lyrics to their modern rock hit "Creep"."

Forward yesterday/Makes me wanna stay/What they said was real/Makes me wanna steal/Livin' under house/Guess I'm livin', I'm a mouse/All's I gots is time/Got no meaning, just a rhyme
(Chorus):Take time with a wounded hand'Cause it likes to heal/Take time with a wounded hand'Cause I like to steal/Take time with a wounded hand'Cause it likes to heal, I like to steal/I'm half the man I used to me/This I feel as the dawn it fades to gray/Well, I'm half the man I used to be/This I feel as the dawn it fades to gray.

Feelin' uninspired/Think I'll start a fire/Everybody run/Bobby's got a gun/Think you're kinda neat/Then she tells me I'm a creep/Friends don't mean a thing/Guess I'll leave it up to me

(Repeat Chorus many, many times)

What is with the Green Eggs and Ham rhyme scheme in those verses?! "I won't eat them in a box/I won't eat them with a fox".

Also, who the fuck is Bobby and why does he have a gun? There's a thing called narrative, you useless junkie. You can't just introduce a character out of the blue near the end of your song because you need a word to rhyme with "run", and then never mention him again. This song would get an 'F' in an English 101 class at an overseas diploma mill.

At least they aren't Nickelback.
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