I know I'm going to sound really nasty in this one, and Nick is going to accuse me of getting angry over stupid little things again, but ... I can't help it. I hate the freakin' Red Hat Society.

Why? Well, for one, Dilf's aunt skipped one of the ÜberGirl's christening because she had a Red Hat Society meeting. But that's not enough. It's the hypocrisy.

How is the Red Hat Society hypocritical? Well, for one, I don't see how you can flaunt your free-spirited individuality by joining an organization of people just like you. It seems counterintuitive.

Two, they want to pretend to be all devil-may-care, in-your-face-society, but in reality they have tons and tons of merchandise targeted to them. How can you be counter culture with musical teddy bears and Madame Alexander dolls manufactured with you in mind? Did you ever see a Johnny Rotten Christmas ornament, or a Sid Vicious teddy bear that vomited when you pressed his tummy? No.

These women aren't brave and sassy. They're big overgrown cheerleaders still trying to form a clique. I'm going to start a Society of One when I'm middle aged (so, basically, in a couple of years). I haven't decided on a look yet, but when I do it will be counter culture, to the point store managers will wonder whether or not to call the police when I stroll through their doors.

I may or may not scream random profanities. It'll depend on what sort of day I'm having at the time.