Snot-nosed punk bastard Nick tagged me for a meme. I could tell him to shove his meme up his KFC eatin' ass, but I've got to get to 1000 somehow.

So. Five things you don't know about me that you'd probably rather not know.

1. Ever since I gave birth, I pee just a little if I cough or sneeze really hard. Or, as I discovered last spring when I had the stomach flu, when I throw up.

2. I used to do kegel exercises on the train on my way into work. Actually, this is probably something my fellow Metra riders would rather not know. Actually actually, considering #1, I should probably start doing more Kegels now.

3. Every so often, I get a weird, coarse black hair or two growing above my lip like a whisker. It must be hormonal, because it shows up once a month. It hurts to tweeze.

4. I had a boil once. In a very uncomfortable place. It was purple and plum-shaped and explosive.

5. I tore so much giving birth to ÜberElder that the doctor performed the equivalent of emergency surgery on me and I came close to requiring a blood transfusion. I shook for hours afterward.

If you are disgusted by anything you just read, blame Nick.