Don't Wear Wednesday: My Fears
Every week, I pick out clothes that are, in my opinion, so outrageously, irredeemably bad, that all one would have to do is gaze upon them to understand why they belong on "Don't Wear Wednesdays."

But then, I read a review of the documentary DVD "Jesus Camp" in my Tribune today. One of the young filmakers made the following statement about what she learned while covering her subject:
"It forever changed the way I look at this country. Having spent the last 30-plus years on the East Coast -- in Washington, DC or New York -- thinking people have the same world view as me is totally ignorant. I had not grasped the range of differences and furthermore, we're actually the minority. We live in a very sheltered bubble, being in big cities. I'll be you could go an hour and a half outside Chicago and find a church just like Becky's. And I didn't know that before."
So now I am frightened. I am frightened of de Toqueville's "Tyranny of the Majority."

Maybe I'm the only one who thinks buying this from Frederick's of Hollywood

or this from Lover's Lane

is a bad idea, because they are poorly constructed, unflattering and crimes against elegance.

Maybe many people find this T shirt

or this one

clever and amusing, instead of horrifying and embarrassing to 21st century American culture.

Maybe my park district is right -- people don't want tranquil places of beauty and nature trails; they want astroturf and brightly-lit baseball fields and parking lots. Maybe George Bush WAS elected fair and square.

American Idol -- Hamburger Helper -- WalMart -- Olive Garden -- Dane Cook.... it's all becoming ominously clear to me now. These things aren't anomalies; people like them. They really like them.

I never thought of myself as a cultural elitist. I mourn the absence of Ruffles and onion dip from parties. I love patty melts. I watch "Super Nanny" and "Wife Swap". I like kitschy 70's music. But maybe those things are highbrow now. Maybe "Hee Haw" is considered classic television, and wearing cut-off short shorts with tube tops is now considered acceptable attire in courtrooms, churches and 5-star restaurants.

Somebody hold me. The State of the Union address is on tonight, and I think the majority of Americans will believe it. Like the 60 percent who don't believe in Evolution.

Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

Now, who wants cupcakes?

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