I almost forgot my wedding anniversary.

I was so dulled with boredom this week I nearly missed a milestone. Dilf and I have been married nine blissful years. Nine years and two days, as a matter of fact.

In nine years, we've: shared one apartment and two houses; had two babies and two miscarriages; two vasectomies; three cats (one cat is assumed RIP and one lives on a farm, one is Miss Muffin) and one dog; six jobs between the two of us; four cars; two weddings and two honeymoons; and we're on our third bed.

Nine years of going grocery shopping together. Nine years of watching "Law and Order" and "ER." Nine years of laundry. Nine years of sharing a bathroom. Nine years of ordering pizza, renting movies and doing the dishes. Nine years of domestic tranquility.

Nine years of Dilf's big ape arm thrown over me every night -- it weighs a ton, people! Nine years of snuggling in, feeling warm and protected.

We're going out to dinner tomorrow night to celebrate (shout out to Dilf's mom for babysitting.) It's a fancy place, so Dilf will have to wear his dress crocs. They're crocs made from real crocs!
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

Now, who wants cupcakes?

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