5.10.2007
I Need a Break.
This is what I've heard all week:

UberElder: Mommy? Don't worry. Your eyeballs can't fall out. They're connected in the back by some veins. Mommy? Can I do an art project? I need to use the iron. Mommy? It itches. Mommy? I read the book Arthur Has the Chicken Pox and he took an oatmeal bath so I think I should take an oatmeal bath. Mommy? What's for breakfast? Can I have pancakes? Can you cut them for me? Mommy? What's for lunch? What's for dinner? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Yooooouuuung-eeeeer! Stooooop it! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY! YOUNGER JUST (fill in any number of infractions)

UberYounger: MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY I think I just had diarrhea.

UberElder: Mommy? Someone had diarrhea in the toilet and didn't flush.

Moxie: Where are you going? To get the paper? How long will you be? Can I come with? Please? I don't like when you leave. I get really nervous when you leave. Okay, then, I'll just wait plastered against the door until you get back... Phew! That was the longest 8 seconds of my life!

UberElder: I still want to make that craft, mommy. You take crayons and melt them with the iron.

UberYounger: (Wailing) Moooommm-eeee! mooooooommmmmeeeeee! MOMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMY! (sob) (pause) Never mind.

It's enough to make me want to seek outside employment. Plus, I could buy one of these....

Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area



If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

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