7.24.2008
Bad Lyrics Thursday

I am about to become a traitor to my youth.

Grease was the soundtrack to my formative years. It served as backdrop to innumerable slumber parties, with my friends and I singing karaoke-style into a hairbrush years before anyone had heard of karaoke.

It was the first video purchased and watched by us once VCRs hit the consumer electronics scene.

For better or for worse (I would venture to say "worse;" nay, I will shout it: WORSE!) it colored our views of romance.

If ever I mistakenly cross the movie's path while channel-surfing, I cringe. If I listen to the lyrics of the songs, I bury my head in shock and horror. Barry Gibb, may God have mercy on your soul for perpetrating a monstrosity that is simultaneously fatuous and hazardous. I'll admit, that is difficult to pull off. Perhaps you fell under some demonic influence.

Let's examine the lyrics of the theme song to clarify my position:


Verse One
I solve my problems and I see the light
We gotta plug and think, we gotta feed it right
There ain't no danger we can go to far
We start believing now that we can be who we are


Have you seen the movie? What problems are solved? Do any of the characters "plug and think?" And, I think Stockard Channing's character proves there IS a danger in "going too far." As for "being who we are," a shockingly stupid and simplistic concept, the movie encourages BECOMING SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT in order to be accepted (more on that later.)

Verse Two
Grease is the word WTF?
They think our love is just a growing pain
Why don't they understand, It's just a crying shame
Their lips are lying only real is real
We start to find right now we got to be what we feel


Okay, this is typical baby boomer bullshit, portraying unseen adults as some sort of menacing yet clueless force restricting "love." Yet I can't recall any parents appearing in the film at all, and the teachers didn't seem to notice or care what the characters did in the back seat of "Greased Lightening." And "only real is real?" Ugh. That's just painful. "Got to be what we feel?" More baby boomer bullshit platitudes. I "feel" like punching someone in his shriveled, useless nutsack. 60 is NOT the new 30! You're OLD! Fucking deal with it already! (I think I'm digressing away from my main point. Where was I? Oh, yeah.

Refrain
Grease is the word
Grease is the word, is the word that you heard
It's got groove it's got meaning
Grease is the time, is the place is the motion
Grease is the way we are feeling


Really, Barry? How much lead time did the studio executives give you to write this them song? Because only I'm the Map from "Dora the Explorer" exceeds this in sheer repetitive vacuity. None of this refrain contains the barest suggestion of meaning. "Is the word that you heard?" Oh, I thought it was "GEESE." I was confused there, for a minute. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

Verse Three. (and, uh, Four? or is that a misprint? see below)
We take the pressure and we throw away
Conventionality belongs to yesterday
There is a chance that we can make it so far
We start believing now that we can be who we are


Could it be... MORE baby boomer bullshit? You see, because the 50's were so conventional and conformist, while the 60's and 70's were so free-spirited and individualistic. Which is why everyone had the same long hair and jeans. Also, how exactly did Reagan and the Bushies and our greatest (moderate) Republican president, Bill Clinton, get into office? How did everything get deregulated and put into the hands of monopolistic corporations? Right. Those counter-culture revolutionaries. Thanks, jerks. I think I'm getting off topic again.

Back to the movie. I love that we're supposed to "believ(e) now that we can be who we are," when Sandy must completely overhaul her appearance and change her behavior in order to be accepted by the Pink Ladies (who all dress and look the same, by the way), and be reunited with Danny? When Frenchie wants to be a hairdresser instead of going to high school like everybody else, she is pressured to give up her dream after one hair-coloring disaster, by none other than FRANKIE VALLI? Is there no end to the evil foisted upon us by this man, in relation to this movie?

End, Coda, Mindless Repetition
Grease is the word
Grease is the word, is the word that you heard
It's got groove it's got meaning
Grease is the time, is the place is the motion
Grease is the way we are feeling
This is the life of illusion
Wrapped up in trouble laced with confusion
What we doing here?

We take the pressure and we throw away
Conventionality belongs to yesterday
There is a chance that we can make it so far
We start believing now that we can be who we are

Grease is the word
Grease is the word, is the word that you heard
It's got groove it's got meaning
Grease is the time, is the place is the motion
Grease is the way we are feeling

Grease is the word, is the word that you heard
It's got groove it's got meaning
Grease is the time, is the place is the motion
Grease is the way we are feeling

Grease is the word
Is the word
Is the word
Is the word
Is the word
Is the word
Is the word
Is the word
Is the word





In conclusion, I don't like this song.

(I'm going to get attacked by fans, aren't I? Well, it's been a while... I guess I'm due.)
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area



If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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