Poetry Weak... er, Week
Kiss My Heinie Leinie

I do not care if Leinie Girls
are in my town or not
I don't care what beer they promote
or if they're looking hot
Why send me an email
to tell me such a thing?
To see a trollop in short shorts
Who can't even dance or sing?

So, my dearest local pub
don't tell me they'll appear
Unless they're coming to my house
decked out in cleaning gear

Dear Parenting Magazine

Chick peas are not popcorn
No matter what you say
Chick peas are not popcorn
You say they get crisp when toasted
Chick peas are not popcorn
You dirty lying bastards
Chick peas are not popcorn
The children know the truth
Chick peas are not popcorn

I would rather have my kids
Up to their elbows in buttery goo
Than have them forever emotionally scarred
By what you'd have me do

Because chick peas are not popcorn
To pretend so is a lie
Chick peas are not popcorn
With their mealy insides
Chick peas are not popcorn
They do not taste the same
Chick peas are not popcorn
What are you, insane?
Chick peas are not popcorn

One More, a Haiku this time
Summer is over
Once more, potato salad
That's all for the year
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

Now, who wants cupcakes?

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