Republicans Eat Babies

I have been wondering why the Republican Party is so staunchly anti-abortion, yet either nonchalant or downright kill-happy when it comes to other life issues.

Are you starving to death? Not their problem. Can't afford medical care? Call someone who cares. Food supply poisoned by ruthless profiteers? Caveat emptor, baby. Or is that Laissez-Faire?

Throw their murderous streak into the equation (poor people on death row? String 'em up -- they've got to be guilty of something! Sitting on some oil reserves? Tell Allah I said hello) and you've got some serious killing machines on your hands. And that's not even including their willingness to destroy the very air, water and land that sustains all life on this planet in the first place.

So it seems very odd to me that Republicans are so concerned about newborns -- and I'm not the only one who's noticed their inconsistency. Why would they care so much about ittiest bittiest Americans while not giving a flying fig about anyone else, much less the building blocks of life on earth?

Babies are a Republican delicacy. That's why their fundraising dinners are so freaking expensive. Oh, sure, some of their less fantastically wealthy members make do with food that simply looks like babies, but at the top, they only accept the real deal. Just ask Karl Rove.

Now, you might ask why Republicans don't just harvest their babies from poor people in the Southern Hemisphere, like their transplant organs. Sadly, too many Republicans view brown babies (and people) the same way many people view eggs -- no matter how much proof exists that the brown ones are the same on the inside as the white ones, they just have an irrational preference for the white ones.

So, there's the reason Republicans so strenuously oppose abortion, when they can and do deny their other beliefs and convictions (I'm looking at you, "I don't have a church, I'm not a member of any church"-Palin). They need their delicious, delicious supply of baby meat. Or they turn to dust before sunrise. *cough* Dick Cheney *cough*
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