I've had The Flu before. Once, when I was 21 years old. I will never mistake a cold, no matter how severe, for The Flu again. I know The Flu is serious business, and having had it, I can totally see how it could possibly kill the more frail or weakened citizens among us. I am not in any way downplaying The Flu.

But here's what DOES bother me about the public response to this current outbreak. I received a letter from the school district in both children's folders yesterday, plus received one of those district-wide automated phone calls, about the Swine Flu yesterday. It warned about the life-threatening implications of sniffles, and advised us to send "anti-bacterial wipes" to school, so the kids could "wipe down their desks."

The Flu is a virus. Wiping down desks with anti-bacterial wipes is about as effective as hiding under your desk would be during a nuclear attack, another tactic recommended by the public school system.

Also, I currently have the sniffles. Yesterday, I even had a sore throat. It's gone today. I had a couple of mild body aches, too -- yesterday. I have a touch of a cold, that lasted exactly one day. If I hadn't had The Flu before, and merely had this "expert advice" to go by, I might've gone into full panic mode yesterday.

I know it's a fine line, and you have people who send their kids to school with 103 degree fevers and stuff. I also know this flu is kinda freaking the medical community out, because flu season should be over by now and this strain is pretty funky.

But when I had The Flu in 1992, I had a nasty backache for about a week before the rest of the symptoms hit me full bore. Also, I was contagious during that time period, and worked in a two-person office in the guy's basement. Neither he nor his family caught The Flu from me.

Not all flus operate like this. I'm not saying to ignore anything or throw caution to the wind.

I'm just advising caution, not panic. And a realization that colds and sore throats and ear infections manifest every year around this time, so sniffles does NOT equal a death sentence.

That being said: Dilf, when you come home tonight, we're scrubbing you down.