All I wanted to do is see a movie, people. Specifically, this "Star Trek" picture some of you folks may have heard of lately.

We arranged for Ubers Elder and Younger to view "Monsters vs. Aliens 3D" in the same theater complex with my niece and nephew (ages 24 and 21 respectively; I didn't send a bunch of little kids into a theater alone). Their movie started at 1:25 p.m., ours was to start at 1:30 p.m.

Only we didn't get any further than the "please turn off your cell phones" message when the screen froze. Then we sat there for a while. Dilf and I made jokes about the theater personnel asking "Is there a computer geek in the house who can help us with our technical difficulties?" and having 2/3 of the audience jump up.

Then emergency lights came on and a pimply-faced adolescent in the employ of the movie theater informed us that "the manager wanted to see us all in the lobby," as if we had done something wrong.

We were told the power was out. And could we all please go outside now? And then the fire and police departments showed up. Then we heard there was a fire in the building. Then they gave us all rainchecks.

Am I being punished for having impure thoughts about Simon Pegg? If I try again tomorrow, will something even worse happen?

Does this happen to you when you try to see a movie?