Despite the fact I have relocated to Austin for an indeterminate period of time, the post office faithfully forwards on my copy of Midwest Living magazine. Within its pages, I have realized something I painfully miss about it: they make a festival out of just about anything up there.

Doubt me? Then let me introduce you to something called Sputnikfest in Manitowoc, Wisconsin. They created an annual event out of a chunk of debris falling on the street.

They have a Miss Space Debris -- Queen of All That Is Sputnik. They have a Cosmic Cake Contest. They have an aluminum foil costume contest.

They not only have a humongously oversized fiberglass cow in town -- they give her aluminum foil moon boots. And space suit. And cover her horns.

Maybe they don't need a "Keep Wisconsin Weird" campaign, because Wisconsinites keep the weird in their hearts regardless. Or, more likely, it's because the Californians haven't overrun the place like they have down here.

Like in Portland, Oregon -- another place overrun with an influx of Californians.

Maybe instead of the "Keep (insert town) Weird" campaign, they should have a "Californians Go Home" campaign. Ironic.