This Week in Coupons: Halloween! Brooms for Witches with Odor Problems, Decorative Soap Dispensers, and Brownies for Lazy People
Today is the first day of October, people -- that means a non-stop, full-bore, unabated gush of Halloween goodness will gush forth from my font of bloggy inspiration. Are you as excited as I am? I bet you aren't!

Why am I so in love with Halloween, you may very well ask? None of your god-damned business! No, seriously, I credit Scooby Doo. Ubiquitous as it was when I was growing up, Scooby Doo taught me (over and over and over, ad nauseum) that it was okay to be afraid sometimes, as demonstrated by Shaggy and Scooby, but fears should be faced and conquered, as demonstrated by Fred and Thelma. I'm not sure what Daphne taught me, but it might explain why I was anorexic the first two years of high school. Die, Daphne, you stuck up bitch! So, Halloween, with its confrontation of our deepest fears and making light of dark subject matter is ingrained into my very subconscious.

But onto the coupons.

For all you witches with that not-so-fresh feeling, Air Wick introduces a new broom for your transportation needs. It's called the FreshSweep, and it distributes a lovely fragrance from its bristles. With a coupon from Sunday's paper, you save a dollar on your purchase.

Next, SoftSoap FoamWorks introduces their line of glow in the dark decorative Halloween soap dispensers in yesterday's coupon section, but the cheap bastards didn't include a coupon! I couldn't find an online image of them to show you; the only decorative FoamWorks example I could find was the SpongeBob SquarePants model, which suggests to me that SoftSoap FoamWorks AdExecutives are biased toward TwoWords artificially squashed together to form OneWord.

Next, call me lazy, but I'm excited to try these. You can save 75 cents with the coupon in the paper, or Duncan Hines has some for you on their website.
I don't care what kind of snobby foodie you are (Dr. Sardonic, I'm looking at you), the prospect of getting a craving for gooey, warm, fresh-from-the-oven brownies and needing but to warm the oven and shove a pre-made container within and wait, salivating lustily, counting down every second until those beautiful fudgy babies are finally ready to eat -- well, I think I've made my point.

That's it for this week. Please join me next money for another exciting installment of "This Week in Coupons."
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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Now, who wants cupcakes?

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