We Interrupt "This Week in Coupons" to Bring You Intrigue
Okay, I'm always interrupting "This Week in Coupons." Sorry, Jiggs. But I have a mystery to solve.

My 20th high school reunion is coming up, and someone initially posing as Dawn Ewasiuk has contacted me via this very blog. And figured out who I was. Which makes me want to double up on the anxiety pills, but anyway.

Why anxiety? All I can think about is what kind of person I was in high school. I wasn't always nice. I was a vicious gossip. I was always sorry when I actually hurt someone, but I was compulsive about telling stories. While I can now appreciate that people aren't one-sided characters, heroes or villains, but instead have real feelings and complex motivations, back then I enjoyed crafting entralling stories. I guess everyone hopes they aren't the person he/she was in high school. But I digress.

It turns out that "Dawn" is not Dawn and has thrown down a gauntlet I cannot resist: figure out who "she" really is, based on these criteria:

  • (S)he will be flying back to Downers Grove for the reunion
  • (S)he has a now/then picture on the web page.
  • (S)he has confirmed his/her attendance
  • We didn't really know each other in high school, but we knew a lot of the same people. (S)he thinks we must have been in a class together at some point, but (s)he can't recall which one(s).
Using my powers of deduction, Nyquil-dulled as they are, and narrowed it down to a few choices.

Bruce Berger. He looks so cute with his goatee and his obvious love and joy for his offspring. Doesn't he look nice? I'm glad he's happy, whether he's "Dawn" or not.

Robert Dittmer. This cracks me up because he was so dark and evil in high school and now he has two adorable children with Easter baskets behind them. That makes me smile; some woman sure changed his tune.

Leah Dziubinski. She was down-to-earth and no-nonsense in high school, but she's sure looking like a hottie now.

Denise Scalzo. From what I remember, she'd certainly be well-organized enough to track me down. She was a student council type with lots of energy and enthusiasm. I was a frequently depressed schlub filled with angst.

Matt Kresl. I'm not sure he'd remember me much, and it sounds like he's having fun in Nantucket. Like those guys on Wings.

Jean Ann Weil. See "Denise Scalzo," above. But we were less likely to have had a class together, I think.

I'm betting on one of the top three. They'd be more likely to remember me and to have actually have shared a classroom with me.

I need more clues.
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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