My mom and the turkey carcass.
I was going to save this story for later, but I've received a couple of requests for it, so here goes.

My mom came of age in the 50's, so she doesn't talk about sex much. She never portrayed it as bad or dirty or anything, she just never portrayed it in any terms at all. My "birds and the bees" talk consisted of this, when I was about 12 or so: "Did they teach you about sex in health class?" Uncomfortable nodding from me. "Good," she said.

So, when I returned home for a brief period after leaving TEO for the reasons we've already covered, we didn't revisit the topic very often. This was fine with me, since I was focused on looking forward, not back.

I was living at home in November, when Thanksgiving hits. It was the day before Thanksgiving when some of TEO's friends called me, saying they wanted to see me and they didn't want to lose me as a friend. They promised TEO would not be present. Initially, I agreed. But then the thought of that brought back too many bad memories, and I started to cry.

Meanwhile, my mom was in the kitchen cleaning the turkey for the next day. She had her entire forearm inserted into the turkey's cavity when I walked into the kitchen. She glanced up, and noticed I was crying. "What's wrong?" she asked with maternal concern. "What happened..." Then, willing to do ANYTHING to comfort and cheer her wounded offspring, went straight for the dirty joke. "Does THIS remind you of TEO?" she said, arm still thrust into the turkey's gaping midsection.

I hope I can do as much to soothe my girls when they are down. She was also quite funny in the Department of Health office where I had to get my aids test, due to TEO's activities. Posted prominantly throughout the office was an anti-smoking poster entitled "Butts are Gross" and featuring photos of several animals' posteriors. "Maybe someone should've shown THAT to TEO," she quipped. My mom can be pretty funny sometimes.
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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