Worst Dates
I remember my worst date. I was picked up from work and driven to Burger King. Keep in mind, the only reason we stopped for anything at all was because the movie didn't start for another hour and a half.

He stepped up to the counter and ordered two Whoppers, large fries and a milkshake. When the girl behind the counter said, "Would that be all?" He said, "Yes. Oh, wait." He turned to me. "Do you want anything?"

I was wearing a dress and heels. In Burger King. With undoubtedly the biggest clod in the universe. I was set up with this guy by a friend. A former friend.

Not surprisingly, this guy was also the worst kisser. I had no intentions of kissing him, but when someone outweighs you by 100 pounds and sticks a Jabba the Hutt-like tongue in your mouth, it takes some physical action to disengage yourself. Think of the cat in Pepe le Pew cartoons. Luckily, one tongue thrust was all he got.
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

Now, who wants cupcakes?

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