9.21.2005
1976 - 1977: A Year Ears Shed Tears

It’s Thursday, so I am presenting another horrible song for your discomfort. I decided to play fair this week, and submit a song unflattering to women.

In fact, this song is So bad, the artist has gone on record as saying she hated the song. It’s So awful, it was recorded while the singer was standing in a bathroom in Muscle Shoals, Alabama. It’s So atrocious, that, after putting its singer in the spotlight for a brief time, ruined her career singing advertising jingles.*

I give you… “Torn Between Two Lovers”, sung by Mary MacGregor. I can’t comment line by line, since I’m not a man and I’m not sure what would be going through his head, but I will say she is an evil selfish bitch who deserves her vagina to be revoked. Let’s listen in:

There are times when a woman
Has to say what's on her mind
Even though she knows how much its gonna hurt

Before I say another word
Let me tell you, I love you
Let me hold you close and say these words
As gently as I can

There's been another man
That I've met and I love
But that doesn't mean I love you less
And he knows he can't posses me
And he knows he never will
Is just this empty place inside of me
That only he can fill

Torn between two lovers
Feelin like a fool
Loving both of you
Is breaking all the rules
Torn between two lovers
Feelin like a fool

Loving you both is breaking all the rules


You musn't think you failed me
Just because there's someone else
You were the first real love I've ever had
And all the things I ever said
I swear they still are true
For no one else can have the part of me I gave to you

Torn between two lovers
Feelin like a fool
Loving both of you
Is breaking all the rules
Torn between two lovers
Feelin like a fool
Loving you both is breaking all the rules

Couldn't really blame you
If you turn and walk away
But with everything I feel inside
I'm asking you to stay


*You can verify all of these related facts by clicking here.
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area



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