Life is full of minor annoyances that, when added up, can cause an individual undue stress and anxiety.

Why would someone add to this steaming pile of shit? Why would someone make matters worse, not better? I can only surmise that this "someone" hates mankind. The devil hates mankind. So I have no choice but to conclude that Polly Pockets is manufactured by demons in hell, under the direction of Satan himself.

Bolstering this conclusion is the fact that molded plastic requires heat to create. Who has heat in abundance? The devil. In hell. See? I'm right.

For those of you unfamiliar with Polly Pockets, it is a brand of tiny plastic dolls, with miniscule rubber clothing that is impossible to get on or off the doll. The shoes are microscopic. I vacuum them up purposely. In fact, when no one's looking, I throw Polly and and her endless array of accessories in the garbage whenever possible.

See? She's even turned ME evil.

I also believe that the dolls and their surrounding pestilence are coated with some sort of kiddie heroin, causing little girls to crave them with a maniacal zeal.

Will no one protect our children, nay, HUMANKIND, from this adversary? We're on the road to chaos and mayhem, people, and that road is paved with teeny, tiny rubber high-heeled pumps.