King of Cake Strikes First, But Victory Will Be Mine!
The King of Cake doesn't waste any time. I opened my mailbox today to find my Betty Crocker Catalog emblazoned with a warning that "This May Be Your (my) Last Catalog!"

Betty Crocker, one of the King of Cake's corporate henchwomen

Okay, my flour fingered friend, if this is how you want to play, know this:

You've heard of Wilton, haven't you? Of course you have. Any idea where their corporate headquarters is located? I shall tell you: Woodridge, Illinois. Do you know where I live, doughball? Downers Grove, Illinois.

Look upon thy doom, Cakemaker!

That's right, tubby. The town abutting Woodridge to the north. RIGHT NEXT DOOR, sucker. Consider your supply lines compromised, nay, CUT OFF COMPLETELY. That's what military folks call a logistical advantage.

And by the way, I grew up in Woodridge. Do you know who attended grade school with me? Jeff Naccarato.

Just because you have the corporations on your side doesn't mean you'll prevail. You've overlooked your Cupcake Constituency for too long; we shall overcome!
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

So you want more huh?
Click here!

Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

Now, who wants cupcakes?

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