Guess who called me this morning? I had to guess -- because my called ID said "unknown name unknown number." Imagine my surprise when the robo-voice at the other end identified itself as my old friend SBC!Robo-voice claimed to be not only my phone "service" provider, but also the answer to all my entertainment needs as well! They could rip me off in so many unregulated monopoly-type ways!
Anyway, the robo-voice did not tell me why it chose to irritate me today. Instead, it directed me to call a 1-800 number to find out what its "important message" for me was.
They called back! I'm talking to them now! They say I didn't pay my bill. But thanks to the wonders of technology and online banking, I have the proof that I DID SO pay! I have a date, a reference number, an amount... in fact, I overpaid because I couldn't remember the exact amount so I rounded up! In your face, SBC! Motherfuckers!
I'm on hold again. She has to see how to handle this; amazingly, SBC must never make billing errors!
Wait... hold on to your hats, folks... she's APOLOGIZING. And they won't turn off my phone service. Isn't that nice? They're not going to turn off my service because I overpaid them but their system didn't update because of MLK day. Sure, blame the martyred guy.
Did I mention my bill's not due until the 28th but this is from the bill due December 28 which I didn't pay because they kept charging me for DSL service which we cancelled, but then I did because it got straightened out? So they were going to TURN OFF my service because of a 15-day delay on something that's pre-paid a month in advance? This is amazing, people.
Why do I keep them? Because if you want a land line and are a mere human instead of a corporation, you have no options. They just bought their competitor. Why do I need a land line? Because I have a satellite dish. If I had no satellite dish, I'd have to get cable or forgo TV altogether due to the bad reception. Guess who owns the ONLY cable service available to me? SBC.
To quote Monty Python, "Help, help! I'm being oppressed!"
