I Went to A Bachelorette Party this Weekend

I drank a little. Ate a little pizza.

I purchased romance enhancement products.

I went to a bar and bought the bachelorette a giant chocolate martini.

Some strangers bought us all lemon drop shots. I drank mine, but not everyone in our party did, so the bride finished them off.

I recommended that a creepy older man find a willing girl (exact words: "sluts are underappreciated and underrated. Go find one") instead of wasting time talking to me, because I knew what he wanted and he wasn't going to get it from me. He found my candor refreshing, so instead of going away, he decided to tell me all of his marital problems.

We danced to an all-girl band popular with the lesbian community.

The bride to be put her head in my lap and threw up on me on the way home.

I went back to my brother-in-law's house and threw up myself before going to sleep on the couch. Disgusting, yes, but I have no hangover because of it. You know what a sweetie my brother-in-law is? He left bottled water on the coffee table within my reach, so when I woke up parched in the wee hours, I could but reach out my hand and find relief.

I also had to wear my brother-in-law's t-shirt and pajama bottoms home, with high heels, since my dress was in the laundry.

How was YOUR weekend?
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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