I hate giving Christmas presents to people over the age of 18. I really do. Because I'm cheap? No. Because adults know what they like and buy it for themselves; what the hell am I doing, guessing what a person wants or needs? Now, if someone is struggling financially, I don't mind ... but I like it to be a "secret Santa" thing so no one's embarrassed. But I'm already digressing...

I hate when I sit through two days of non-stop unwrapping of gifts. I'm not a "stuff" person anyways, so it's horribly boring and becomes nauseating for me. Stifling. Overwhelming. Particularly if the gifts are for me, and I'm sitting there dreading bringing all of these things home. I am sending out a plea right now: no mas.

When it comes to my girls, let me make it clear: books get read and re-read; videos get watched and re-watched. Pajamas and clothes are always needed. Items relating to hobbies or developing a skill are good. But so many toys lie fallow in their closets. Please don't feel the need to shower them with gifts. They love you, they really do. They don't need to be bribed with gifts.

I want to play games and socialize and eat cookies and shrimp cocktail. I want to sip champagne and pass the oplatki and drunkenly belt out Christmas carols. I don't want to sit there and sit there and sit there as trash mounds up and I think of how useless it all is.

Also, I'm not going to try to out-decorate anyone or out-bake anyone or out-anything anyone or any past year's celebration. I just want fun and love and imperfect gingerbread houses slapped together by me and the Übergirls. Can we? This year? Just have some fun?