We have taken the land creature known as Übermilf back to our underwater lair. Although she is shrill and unpleasant, we will keep her until she teaches us to make cupcakes, the delicacy known to you as "grilled cheese," and, if time allows, pudding.
Kelp likes pudding.
We do not know how many of your land-days this will take. First we need to create an underwater oven and grill top. Your perplexing entertainment box presents an outrageously unrealistic portrayal of this arduous undertaking in the "SpongeBob Squarepants" fables.
We will not harm the Übermilf creature, although we are sorely tempted to do so. As we said, we will return her once we have learned what we need to know from her.
Sincerely,
Krill and Kelp, Mermen from the Deep
