For instance...
Product: Perdue Frozen Fully Cooked Chicken Variety
What they say: "Finally! ***** [five star] Taste in the Freezer Case!"
What they don't say: the scale. Was it five out of five? Out of Twenty? We just don't know.
Product: Juice Juice Harvest Surprise
What they say: "Surprise! There are veggies inside!"
What they don't say: Whether the surprise is a pleasant one.
Product: Oscar Mayer Lunchables Stackers
What they say: "Make lunch more WOO-HOOO!-able"
What they don't say: What the hell that is supposed to mean.
Product: Scotties HypoAllergenic facial tissues
What they say: [picture of cute kitten] "Sure it's soft, but is it pure?"
What they don't say: Our competitors put kitten poop in their tissues.
Product: Boston Market catering
What they say: "Throw the graduation party they deserve"
What they don't say: How your kid did in school and if he/she was a nightmare or not. Are they suggesting Boston Market would make a crappy party for a crappy kid or a great party for a great kid? Again, we just don't know.
Also, I learned that Spider-Man eats Ritz Handi-Snacks Breadsticks 'n Peanut Butter in this week's coupon section. Allow that to steer your snack purchasing as it will.
Until next week, enjoy your grocery shopping.
