Message to Scientologists: Quit Being Whiny Little Punk-ass Bitches

I interrupt my busy schedule of tidying and nurturing to bring a special message to Kirstie Alley, Tom Cruise and all the other assorted nutjobs in the "Church" of Scientology:

Shut the fuck up, you bunch of pussies.

As reported in media as diverse as the Chicago Tribune to Boing Boing, Scientology is embarrassing itself once again with nonsensical claims of religious persecution -- all because a mean man yelled at them.

Soon they'll need to change their book title from Dianetics to Cry-anetics.

To be fair, I did a quick Google search to see if Scientologists are being beaten, gagged, discriminated against, or otherwise persecuted. Maybe they have a genuine concern. The only thing I found was this -- someone made a malicious comment in a usergroup about pointing a non-existent "Tom Cruise Missile" at Scientology's headquarters. There were other incidences of people saying things, but no one actually doing things, to or about Scientology and Scientologists.

Listen, Scientologists: everybody thinks everybody else is a wierdo about religion unless he/she completely agrees with him/her. Even within the same religion, different sects argue, fight and kill each other. Cemetaries are defiled. Graffiti sprayed. Insults hurled. You aren't unique, you aren't being singled out. Put on your big boy pants and get over it.

If you want to whine, whine to someone who's been burnt at the stake, sent to a concentration camp, lynched or fed to the lions. See how much sympathy you get.

Not only is your whining unattractive, it is opening you up for an ass-whuppin' of Bilblical porportions. Throughout history, countless wars have been fought in the name of religion. By revealing yourselves as a bunch of knock-kneed twats who can't handle the most minor of slights, even a bunch of pot-smoking Rostafarians could be looking at you, thinking, "We can take them in a war. Even with John Travolta providing air support."

You have some major financial holdings and prime real estate. You better shut yer yappers before the Mennonites come knocking at your door with pitchforks and war bonnets, looking to expand their congregation.
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

Now, who wants cupcakes?

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