Bad Music Thursday: Monstrous Monsters of Rock Continue
Last Week: Billy Joel

This Week: Captain Fantastic or Fat Frumpy Fop? You decide.

I don't expect Elton John to defend himself since he's not reading this anyways, but I have some pretty damning evidence of him not living up to the hype surrounding him. "Sir Elton," my ass.

I'll get to his music in just a second (and I didn't even need to cover anything he did for Disney or with Dionne Warwick to find stinkers), but first I'd like to address the man himself. As documented here in Top of the Pops, he's both a whiny prima donna prone to temper tantrums and a philanthropist who donates a great deal of time and money to worthy causes.

One minute he's throwing hissy fits, the next he's donating $43 million.

But in the 1980's, his music was not only soul-crushingly bad, it was utterly pervasive, oozing through every radio channel and music video show, nesting itself in the brain folds of anyone and everyone, destroying our collective gray matter to the point that Ronald Reagan is now considered by many to have been a good president.

I give you three examples of the horrors spawned by that man:

Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn off that bad song. Now all hope is gone...

This song was so bad it brought down the Berlin Wall. Sure, historians won't admit it, but it's true.

I hate this one mostly because it imprints the image of a naked Elton John "rolling like thunder, under the covers." Now that's what I call the blues. Not to mention the multicolored yawn. I'm trying to wish it away, but it just won't go.

I hope I haven't scarred anyone for life.
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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