As usual, talking to Nick brought up an unpleasant subject.  Today it was Sweetest Day, which took place just this past Saturday.  I almost forgot about it.

I'll bet there are husbands out there who would rue the day they forgot Sweetest Day.  Dilf, however, would be beaten and thrown out into the cold October night were he to remember it.  It is a sham, a fallacy, a literal invention of the candy companies.

You'll NEVER BE VALENTINE'S DAY, you bastardized excuse for a holiday!!!  Do you hear me??!!  NEVER!!!

I refuse to be party to a lie, and Sweetest Day is nothing but a lie created to boost third quarter sales and cater to the whims of pouty, infantile women everywhere who demand presents and attention whenever the breeze blows from their dutiful man-servants who pose as their "loved" ones .  (I'm looking at you, Cuntzilla.)

It is the epitome of false sentiment, the kind of false sentiment that caused people to buy Bread albums in the 1970's, others to sit through the worst cinema imaginable, and still others to create and purchase abominations like this.

Die, Sweetest Day!  Die!

And do single people need another day to make them ache with loneliness?  April Winchell has proof of what happens to people suffering from the Sweetest Day Blues.  Listen to that man's torment.  Listen to it!  That is the sound of Sweetest Day the greeting card companies don't want you to hear.

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