Painful Truth Number One: I Just Don't Like You "That Way"

Elder went on a "date" last night.

Okay, "date" is a stretch. She's only seven, after all, and the father and grandfather of her fellow second grader came with them. They went to a Chicago Wolves hockey game. The boy's family had four tickets, and the dad said "Ralph" could invite a friend. He chose Elder.

I call him "Ralph" in reference to the Simpson's character Ralph Wiggum -- specifically, the episode titled "I Love Lisa."

I couldn't find any video of the actual show, but here's one someone cobbled together using the characters from another TV show called "Avatar: the Last Airbender.":

Yes, "Ralph" choo-choo-chooses Elder to be his Valentine. He has reportedly written her name on the board at school, encased in heart-shaped bubbles. Elder reports "someone" told her he has a crush on her. Undoubtedly, he has it bad.

Unfortunately, while Elder likes him, she doesn't "like" him. I hope she doesn't break his sensitive little heart. He's a nice little guy. But we all know, no matter how nicely done, and how genuinely meant the "I just want to be friends" statement, it still hurts like a sumabitch.

*Photo courtesy of Toronto Mike, who's top post ironically lists a Chicago Wolves hockey score.
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