5.13.2008
Don't Wear Wednesday: Smug T-Shirts
I hate to jump (or continually re-jump) on bandwagons, but I have to bash the patriotic t-shirts and the jerks who wear them. I know Bush's approval rating is in the toilet, so piling on his administration feels a little like bullying, and I don't like bashing anyone's religion (particularly the farther-out branches of my own, however easy they make it), but the yahoos who purchased and proudly donned this horrible shirts were so proud of themselves... I just can't pretend it's okay.

When I was in Disney World in April, the more patriotic the t-shirt someone was wearing, the less proud I was that the person wearing it was a fellow American. By far, the most bothersome were those who combined jingoistic love of America with self-assured images of Jesus blessing them.

The worst one to me was the "American by birth, Christian by the Grace of God" shirt. I don't want to overthink a message that probably wasn't too carefully considered in the first place, but it seems to be in bad form on several levels. Take the first part, for instance: "American by birth." Most people throughout the world realize that many ignorant, arrogant slobs are enjoying a considerably higher standard of living than most, not due to any hard work or wisdom or anything related to merit, but just because their moms gave birth to them in North America. The fact that the man wearing this shirt obviously had considerable access to food and drink while he lolled about one of the most expensive places in the world would testify to that. Rubbing that unpleasant truth in other people's faces seems to be rather rude, like a kid with a lollipop waving his good fortune in the faces of his candy-less colleagues.

Then, you follow it with "Christian by the Grace of God." Really? God doesn't like those other billions of people, so He doesn't "let" them be Christians? He only selects a few... and he chose... you? A bit presumptuous, don't you think? See, I've been laboring under the delusion that He loves everyone. Maybe, just maybe, you're Christian because that's what everyone else in your family and your town happened to be, and your religion had more to do with sheer laziness and desire for conformity than any mystical hand of God figuring into the equation? It's just a question.

If you should want to purchase shirts like the one I mentioned, or like this, you can find them here.

As for me, they don't make a message with the statement of my choice, so I'll have to settle for a magnet or bumper sticker:
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area



If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

Now, who wants cupcakes?


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