Salad Dressing Plague Hits Ohio

I was going to talk about my potato salad today, but who can talk about potato salad when the end of the world is at hand?

It is written:

"Lo, in those last, dark days, a plague shall strike the nation. From the bowels of the earth, a spring shall rise forth, not of water, but of buttermilk, and of mayonnaise, and of a blend of herbs and spices known only unto the maker.

And this spring shall rise forth to damage untold number of consumer goods, beloved by the people. Machines that make delightful sounds unto the listener shall lay in ruins, as shall the tiny houses, such that a doll might live in, and idolotrous trees that appear as those trees as the Lord has made, but are made by the hands of man and thus found to be an abomination unto the Lord, shall also be destroyed.

It is by these signs, and many others, that you will know the end is near."

Repent. You've been warned.

story via B.A.
Name: Übermilf
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